Following my heart at last
For several years I have been doing the work that excites me, but not quite. I have been providing a service, supporting the wellbeing of others, and teaching the power of natural healing, all of which I have loved. But still the work has felt slightly off, not truly aligned with my deeper purpose, and although I felt this sense of disconnection nagging away for some time, until recently I ignored it.
I trained as a nutritional therapist over twenty years ago, quickly finding myself specialising in the care of those with cancer. This was such stimulating work and a chance to delve deep into the significant and growing body of nutritional cancer research, satisfying a need to engage my brain and learn new things about science, an essential part of what drives me. My heart wasn’t left behind either, this work allowed me to connect with people at a vulnerable time and show compassion; I really felt I was making a difference in people’s lives, however small. This fulfilling work made me happy for many years and during that period I was just where I needed to be, doing just what I needed to do. It also taught me so much about many things; the biggest lesson was how to be present with people and listen. Eventually, though, all this rich learning and being of service in the nutritional arena was not enough.
Since childhood, I have been fascinated by the realms that exist beyond our material world. I’m not sure where this interest stems from, but I know it’s fuelled in part by an experience I had of ‘deep connectedness’ with a higher state of being when I was around four years old. I have spent a lifetime reflecting on the spiritual aspect of life and learning from the writings of various wisdom teachers, and although always interested in healing in its broadest sense, including the power of healthy eating, restoration of emotional and spiritual wellbeing is where my passion really lies. Inevitably ideas relating to our spiritual nature spilled over into my work on occasion, but for many years I kept it controlled - people were coming to me for dietary advice and perhaps emotional support, not spiritual counselling. Not only didn’t I feel qualified to offer such advice, but my internal safeguards wouldn’t allow me, anyway. My fearful thinking mind told me I would lose respect if I spoke about non-scientific issues such as spirit, and its voice was loud, drowning out my whispering heart.
And then, several years ago, I trained as a coach with the HeartMath Institute, and so began a love affair with my heart. The information I learned from the institute kick-started a journey of deep learning confirming that which I already knew but had been afraid to express - spiritual awakening, mediated by the heart, paves the way for true and complete healing. I was learning this information from a new perspective and whilst my heart celebrated as I tuned into its wisdom, my brain and mind were able to relax as they discovered this information was grounded in modern, cutting-edge science.
Since then, I have spent much time researching the heart, preparing for a book that is now well underway. I have also trained in other modalities to support my new therapeutic focus. And, as I have shifted the direction of my clinical practice to support the emotional and spiritual healing of my clients, I finally know what it feels like to truly listen to the wisdom of one’s heart and follow its guidance. It can still be scary at times, but it feels real and right, authentic and aligned, it feels like discovering wholeness. As a bonus, the clearing of inevitable stress associated with inauthentic living has resulted in the resolution of several niggly health problems. And that, in my experience, is how healing always works–as inner, deeper issues resolve and the energies of the body realign, the more superficial physical healing can occur.
A very sick client of mine nearing the end of her life recently spoke to me from her home as I conducted a consultation via Zoom. It shocked me as she appeared on screen to see her wearing a t-shirt covered in hearts and heart-shaped fairy lights and paper motifs hanging all around her. Her face was beaming and her entire body radiated an energy of profound joy, something I hadn’t seen in her before. This lady was herself a health practitioner, and although she often meditated, she sometimes struggled to connect with her inner wisdom. She told me that the previous evening, during her meditation, she had undergone a ‘heavenly experience’ as she described it, during which her heart had clearly spoken to her. In a tone that felt like pure love, completely free of judgement, it asked her why she had ignored it in the past, why she had dismissed its gentle callings and offerings of support. This lady had had a challenging life, and it seemed sad to me that only now at this late stage was she able to tune into her inner guiding voice. However, she was ecstatic. It didn’t matter she was discovering this voice only now, it was here, the greatest comfort and joy ever wished for. I believe this lady’s loving heart guided her home as she passed into the next life only a few days later. I also believe this last connection I had with her was a sign for me to keep on supporting others to awaken to their heart’s wisdom, earlier in their lives, if possible. As I see the rewards people receive as they open to their heart and allow it to guide them on their healing journey, and as I continue to experience the power of my own heart and what it means to live in alignment with its wisdom, one thing is for sure; no matter where it takes me, I am now completely committed to listening to my heart and forever following its sacred path.